ANTI-BULLYING PROGRAM OBJECTIVE
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" Philippians 4:13
Who is at Risk?
Bullying can happen anywhere, but depending on the environment, some groups may be at an increased risk. Learn what factors increase the risk of children being bullied or children more likely to bully others and what warning signs can indicate that bullying may be happening. You can also find out how bullying can negatively impact kids.
No single factor puts a child at risk of being bullied or bullying others. Bullying can happen anywhere—cities, suburbs, or rural towns. Depending on the environment, some groups—such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered (LGBT) youth, youth with disabilities, and socially isolated youth—may be at an increased risk of being bullied.
The objective of our program is to help children of all ages overcome the negative impact of bullying by teaching participants:
* Awareness: How to identify predator behavior
* Avoidance: Realistic ways to avoid being a target of bullying
* Assertiveness: How to stop bullying behavior
Research shows that bullying peaks in the 5th, 6th and 7th grades. The goal of this program is to minimize the effects of predatory behavior in grade school and middle school-aged children. This will be accomplished through role playing, small group discussions and empathy training. This program is broken down in four parts and can be taught over the course of several classes or during a single 3-4 hour intensive.
This program is designed for dealing with school and neighborhood scenarios. Students learn how to identify bullying behavior, realistic ways to avoid being a target of bullying, how to stop bullying behavior and some basic self-defense techniques to deal with the bully if and when it goes physical.
WHAT IS BULLYING?
Have you ever met a bully? A bully is a boy or girl who tries to deliberately hurt other people with words or actions. It’s physical harm, verbal and emotional terrorism, sexual harassment, racism and at times it can grow into much more serious abuse and even criminal behavior. Bullying is 97% psychological and only 3% physical. Bullies pick on someone as a way to get power over them, or to get their way, or to feel important.
Then they use this imbalance of power to try to harm others by:
1. Hurting their feelings
2. Publically humiliating them
3. Spreading rumors
4. Name calling
5. Physically by hitting, kicking, tripping, or pushing.
There are different types of bullies and different ways to be bullied;
If someone is hitting, biting, kicking, punching, pinching you, pulling your hair, tripping you, taking or damaging your things, that’s physical bullying.
If someone is relentlessly teasing you, calling you names, spreading rumors about you, saying or writing nasty things about you, leaving you out of group activities, not talking to you, making you feel uncomfortable or cared, that’s verbal and emotional bullying
If someone touches you inappropriately, snaps your bra strap, stares at our body, or makes sexual comments, that’s sexual bullying.
If someone is using ethnic slurs against you, making fun of your customs, the color of your skin, your accent, or the food you eat, that’s racial bullying.
* * UNDERSTANDING THE BULLY * *
There are a lot of reasons why some people bully and if you understand bullying, you can help to stop it.
A bully just doesn’t become a bully and they’re not born that way. A bully is usually being bullied or abused at home. They usually have low self-esteem which they got by being a victim themselves.
They may see it as a way of being popular, or making themselves look tough and in charge. Some bullies do it to get attention or things, or to make other people afraid of them. Others might be jealous of the person they are bullying. They may be a victim of being bullied themselves.
Some bullies may not even understand how wrong their behavior is and how it makes the person being bullied feel.
If a kid is being bullied, they will pick on other kids because it’s the only thing they know and it’s a way of dealing with it. Bullying makes the bully feel powerful. They have a special need to feel popular, because they’re never praised at home. The bully is really insecure, but they’ll never let you see that side of them. They’ll go after someone weaker, smaller, and different. They’ll take away your self-esteem and scare you.
* Bullying is Harmful
Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can make young people and adults too feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It makes them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. They lose confidence and may not want to go to school or work anymore. It may even make them sick. Bullying is learned behavior, and what’s learned can be unlearned. They don’t have to continue the cycle.
What’s more, you don’t have to be the victim! Utilizing the warrior mind set of Strength, Confidence and Power as you follow the ten steps that will help you defeat the bully. See Below For Ten Steps to Defeat the Bully
TAKE STEPS TO DEFEAT THE BULLY
Step 1: Admit the problem to yourself. If you don't acknowledge bullying and live in denial you will never move beyond it.
Step 2: Tell someone else. Bullying thrives on silence. Tell everyone you know you are being bullied. Break the code of secrecy that binds you invisibly to the bully. When friends and family know about the problem they are in a position to help and support you.
Step 3: Find your breaking point. We all have one with regards to bullying. Don't repress your anger; push it through to the point where you decide “enough is enough.”
Step 4: As a 'victim' you've been playing a role. It's learned behavior. The good thing is you can unlearn it. Be honest with yourself. Write down the fears that are keeping you a victim. Bullies are just mirror images of the fears we all have inside.
Whether it's a fear of verbal or physical confrontation, a fear of looking weak or of making the problem worse - write it down.
Step 5: Commit yourself to confronting the fear. Do this in small steps whatever it is. My own fears were of physical and verbal confrontation. So I joined a martial arts class and refused to let the quitter in me emerge. The confidence I gained changed my life beyond measure and the bullies disappeared because they no longer had a target.
Step 6: Confront the shame and humiliation. It's a natural feeling if you're being bullied but don't continue to give in to it. You’re not alone; there are millions of boys and girls who are bullied in schools, workplaces and homes. Bullies are the people who should be ashamed. Don't make it easier for them by feeling shame.
Step 7: Overcome the self-bullying habit. We all have an inner voice in our heads that reads our thoughts to us. Pay close attention to it. As a 'victim' the voice tends to repeat the bullies insults and threats that destroy yourself image. Try this self-talk technique: When you hear the voice talking negatively shout, “STOP” in your head. You will cut the voice off mid-sentence. Then replace the words with a positive statement about yourself.
Step 8: Develop a defense against any possible bullying attack. If the bullying is physical you could enroll in a self-defense class. If the bullying is verbal try this verbal technique. When attacked with words practice saying a short, assertive statement back with a smile. For example, “You could be right” or smile and say “thanks very much.” The bully wants one thing from you:
A distressed reaction. Ending the bullying is all about training yourself not to give the bully the reaction he wants.
Step 9: Use “I” statements when talking to yourself and others. For example: “I” am doing really well. “I” like my new clothes. "I am a great person." These are all effective because they project confidence and don’t lead you into a confrontation with the bully. Never ask a bully for approval. Withholding validation is one way bullies maintain power. A bully will never give you approval because they would lose their power. That's why with a bully you feel you can never do anything right. It's the bully’s way of keeping his victim prisoner.
Step 10: Develop a new attitude. Life is full of opportunity and is way too short to live a bullied existence. Make the development of strength, confidence and power your ongoing goal and put a stop to the doubt, worry and fear that has allowed bullying in your life. Good luck!
Step 11: Work With Your School And Student Councils!
It’s important for schools to get involved. Ask your school to declare a “No Bullying Begins Today” campaign! The school can raise a white flag in honor of the beginning of the campaign and put posters up all over school.
Your school can set up a web site where kids can anonymously report the person who is bullying them. That way victims can feel safe in making the report and the school can deal with the bully.
Ask your school to have a discussion at an assembly or an after school activity. Invite an organization to talk to the school assembly about anti-bullying.
Work with student councils to have programs on school safety, respect and anti-bullying.
Encourage anyone who’s being bullied to tell a teacher, counselor, coach, nurse, or his or her parents or guardians. If the bullying continues, report it yourself.
Step 12: Grow Your Circle of Friends
If a bully is talking about you, remind yourself about all of your good qualities. Do things that you are good at. Try something new; you may discover a talent you never knew you had. Join clubs or sports teams. This gives you a wider range of interests and by growing your circle of friends you have a larger group of peers and more positive people to spend time with.
Bullying and Guns at School
Are you afraid that a kid at school might be dangerous, AND afraid of being called a tattletale? Most schools will protect your privacy. They won't tell who told them. They’re very careful not to. Pretend that you're asking them for change in the cafeteria.
Tell people you went to a guidance counselor to talk about your grades. Nobody has to know why you really went to talk to them.
Bullying is one of the most minimized and persistent problems in our schools today. The sad thing is, it’s a reality for all children, whether they’re victims, witnesses, or they’re the bullies.
Children are born into the world innocent – without defenses. Another child or an adult comes along who is a product of abuse, rage, or being a ‘bully’ victim and the cycle continues. Whether it’s at school or at home, anyone who is bullied will very often feel depressed and have low self-esteem. If you’re a bully, you are more likely to be hostile and anti-social.
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LET'S RESPOND TO BULLYING!
We need to teach our children to help deal with this problem. We all can do our part. Kids see bullying everyday. kids want to help,but really don't know how.Let's teach them how to be more than a bystander!
* Stop it on the Spot! - When adults respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior they send the message that it is not acceptable. Research shows this can stop bullying behavior over time. There are simple steps adults can take to stop bullying on the spot and keep kids safe.
* Help them get away - Create a distraction. If no one is rewarding the child who is bullying by paying attention, the behavior may stop. Bystanders can help to focus the attention on something else.
*Set a good example - Make sure children don't bully others and don't encourage bullying behavior.
Encourage them to look for opportunities to contribute to the anti-bullying culture at their school through school clubs and organizations.
They can create anti-bullying posters, share stories or show presentations promoting respect for all.
Use tools like the youth leaders toolkit to help older teens work with younger children to prevent bullying.
*Tell a trusted adult - An adult can help stop bullying by intervening while it's in progress, stopping it from occurring or simply giving the person being bullied a shoulder to lean on.
Bystanders can tell a trusted adult in person or leave them a note.
If bullying is occurring, bystanders can go find, or ask a friend to find, a trusted adult as soon as possible. Perhaps they can help stop it from continuing.
Remind children who witness bullying not to get discouraged if they've already talked to an adult and nothing has happened. They can ask a family member if they will help, and make sure the adult knows that it is repeated behavior. Try talking to as many adults as possible if there's a problem-- teachers, counselors, custodians, nurses, parents. The more adults they involve, the better.
*Be their friend -Children can help someone who's been bullied by simply being nice to them at another time. Being friendly can go a long way toward letting them know that they're not alone.
A bystander can help by spending time with the person being bullied at school. Simple gestures like talking to them, sitting with them at lunch, or inviting them to play sports or other games during physical education or recess can help a lot.
Advise the child to listen to the person being bullied, let them talk about the event.
They can call the person being bullied at home to provide support, encourage them and give advice.
Bystanders can try sending a text message or going up to the person who was bullied later. They can let that person know that what happened wasn't cool, and that they're there for them.
A bystander can help by telling the person being bullied that they don't like the bullying and asking them if he can do anything to help.
Bystanders can also help the person being bullied talk to a trusted adult.